In Tim Keller’s lastest book, The Meaning of Marriage, he says the following:
To be loved but not known is comforting but superficial. To be known and not loved is our greatest fear. But to be fully known and truly loved is, well, a lot like being loved by God. It is what we need more than anything. It liberates us from pretense, humbles us out of our self-righteousness, and fortifies us for any difficulty life can throw at us. (Keller, pg. 95)
I was telling a friend a few days ago that I always thought my greatest fear was to be forgotten. I had found myself doing things that would help to make sure I would not be forgotten, yet I would become incredibly stressed when someone would forget a task or forget to call me back or degrade what I did.
When you bank all your stock on “being known” (some would rightly identify it as seeking fame) so that you will not be forgotten, your mind can travel to incredibly dark places. Ever been there?
Keller identifies something that is a bit different though. He says, “To be known and not loved is our greatest fear.” Did you get that? It’s not that the greatest fear is to be forgotten, but actually to not be loved WHILE being known. Yet, he goes on to identify that God knows us fully and loves us.
He knows us better than we even know ourselves (both the good and the bad). He not only knows, but loves us. Our greatest fear has been conquered. All of the things we identify ourselves with as “fears” HAVE BEEN obliterated. Perfect has cast out fear. It is a matter of walking in this.