Today would have been my dad’s 60th birthday. He has been dead for almost 7 years. I miss him incredibly.
I was out on a hike this morning in order to pray for His Voice and get direction on what we are to do. As I thought about my dad, several thoughts came to my mind about working through loss.
The following things do not just have to be specific to physical death. For some of you it will be the matter of a lost childhood through abuse in your home. For others it will be the inability to carry out what you want to do in life and therefore, you have a profound sense of grief and doubt. Yet, other people have been betrayed by close friends or co-workers and you have taken on the “everything is just fine” or “they will never hurt me again” mentality.
My prayer is that you would find encouragement and freedom in what I have been learning along the way.
Grief is much more of a tapestry that ebbs and flows on the picture of life, instead of a one time instance that is meant to be “gotten over.” Do not make the mistake of thinking that I believe we need to view all of life through the lens of grief. Life is more than grief, yet it definitely includes it.
The reality is that sometimes, in the face of losing my dad, I will have thoughts of picking up the phone to call him. I can’t.
This used to frustrate me and I would either stuff this thought in the back of my head in order to get over it or it would totally consume me and I would start getting depressed. I think there is another way now.
Sometimes I will just cry and let myself grieve that my dad isn’t around. I think this is healthy. Jesus did the same thing at the grave of Lazarus. Other times I won’t cry, but will just feel a profound sense of loss. Either way it is a matter of entrusting myself to God and asking Him to inform my thoughts and emotions with who He is.
When this happens you feel grief and loss deeper than you ever have before because you are not ultimately controlled by the grief or loss. Instead, His hope informs your pain in such a way that joy and pain can rest in your soul at the same time and you are not consumed with thinking you are a hypocrite. It’s a paradox.
I pray the paradox of pain and joy, grief and comfort, loss and not feeling alone, will invade your soul today and give you the power to surrender to Him and rest in His arms.
If you are struggling through loss and would like me to pray for you, email me at vernon@Hisvoiceglobal.com.